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# Sunday, December 28, 2008
Author: Katia Loisel-Furey


New research suggests another approach may work better, writes Katia Loisel-Furey co-author of How to get the man you want & How to get the woman you want.

Should Women Play Hard To Get?

You’re sitting at the bar wearing your sexiest little black dress and winner smile, scanning the room nervously for ‘Mr. Right’. From across the crowded room you see him, immaculately dressed, an air of confidence surrounding him like a veil. A sexy smile dances on his lips as his eyes lock with yours, and for that split second you feel as though you’re the only two people in the room.

Blood rushes to your face like a tidal wave and you quickly look away to compose yourself. As you turn back for a second look, dress hitched up a notch and loaded with your best Angelina Jolie pout, a niggling thought stops you dead in your tracks.

If men are the hunter and prefer the thrill of the chase, shouldn’t we play hard to get?

How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams

If the world of dating wasn’t confusing enough, every time we turn on the TV or read a magazine we get different advice. So how does a single woman attract the man of her dreams?

A global study ‘Real People, Real Answers, Real Stories’ found that over 50% of men wouldn’t approach a woman if there was no sign of interest from them and that fear of rejection was the main reason they wouldn’t approach. In reality most men would rather do twenty rounds in a boxing ring than risk being rejected by you.

Selective Difficulty

Scientists have suggested that we favour ‘selective difficulty’. We’re attracted to people who play hard to get for everyone, except us, with 96% of men preferring the direct approach.

The theory of ‘selective difficulty’ was tested using a version of online dating. Three women were given their online matches. One was keen to meet all of her dates, the second played hard to get and rejected all the men and the third showed interest in only one man. 100% of the male participants in the study preferred the woman that was only interested in them.

Give the Myth the Flick

If you’re looking for ‘Mr Right’ and not a player who’s only after another notch in his belt, it’s time to give the dating myth of playing hard to get the flick.

Next time your eyes meet his, give him a cheeky grin and a loaded look that says “come hither”, count to four before looking away, then look back and watch as he makes a beeline in your direction.

To find out more about Katia’s new book How to get the man you want and How to get the woman you want Real People – Real Answers, Flirting, dating, sex and love, what men and women really want visit or

About the Author:

Katia Loisel-Furey is an international flirting, dating and body language expert and co-author of the blockbuster 2 sided book How to get the man you want & How to get the woman you want. Real People – Real Answers, Flirting, Dating, Sex and Love – What men and women really want.

She is also a TV presenter who has worked with tens of thousands of singles and couples in Australia and overseas. Katia has featured as a dating expert on TV shows such as 9am with David and Kim, The Morning Show, Today Tonight, A Current Affair, Sunday and Postcards and many radio shows. She receives
hundreds of letters from readers and advises them on body language, relationships and the world of dating. She regularly contributes to the weekly MX Magazine and has featured in Cosmo, RALPH, FHM, Dolly, Marie Claire and Good Health and Medicine.

Katia, in collaboration with Paul Morris Segal and Inna Segal has conducted a five year global study, ‘Real People - Real Answers,’ concerning the dating and mating patterns of over 1500 singles to find out the truth about what men and women want when it comes to flirting, dating, sex and love.

Katia was born in France and now lives in Australia with her husband Greg and son Aiden.

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